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Things to consider

What sort of funeral?

If you want to create something that everyone will remember affectionately, something which captures the essence of the person who’s died, there are a few things to think about before you even begin to plan the service.


Are you looking for a traditional service, or something contemporary; will it be formal or more relaxed?


My own preference is to take a lot of the ‘ceremony’ out of the thing and make it a celebration of whoever has died, a run down of their life and times, in all it’s glory;  the ups and downs, triumphs and even occasional disasters!  Their quirky ways, funny sayings; the habits they had that drove you mad, but you loved them for it anyway.


Here are a few bullet points to get you thinking:


  • Involve the right people.  It’s best if there are no more than two or three people to take the decisions; more than this and it gets complicated but with just a few of you, you can share the responsibility.


  • Do it your way.  Don’t feel as though you should follow a template; there are no rules.  Think about what they’d have liked and base your decisions on that.


  • Map out the order of service as quickly as you can.  It will be a huge relief to know this is done, click here for advice on some of the things you can include.


  • If you’re unsure, ask.  Most of us are fortunate enough to only attend a few funerals, so we’re not experts.  No question is too daft and they will all have been asked before.


  • Choose the right person to host the service, someone you have confidence in, someone who you like.   


Religion, spirituality and belief


Your choice.


There is no legal or moral requirement to govern what should be in a funeral service, so be true to yourself and the person we’re saying goodbye to.


If you think the Lord’s Prayer is appropriate, then have it, but don’t put it in because other people feel it should be there.  


I won’t query your beliefs or challenge your suggestions and most of all, I won’t bring my own philosophy with me, it’s your day, your occasion, your belief system.  I respect that. Totally.

“Once again, thank you for your superb contribution.”

George H

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